Growing Plants & Babies

I adore plants. My dear honey instead of surprising me with bouquets he surprises me with house plants.

He speaks my language. lol

Raising plants and raising babies are kind of the same- you water the plants too much they die- I hover over my children too much they want me to die. same same lol

Im not sure if they are the same or not- I am learning how to take care of my little plants as well as my children- and sometimes I go to bed feeling like I have failed (not my plants- but sometimes that too lol).

I tend to overthink everything- take a peek into my mind and you will leave twitching and have anxiety for the rest of your life haha

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Our middle child came into our room lastnight because she had a bad dream- and I was nursing our youngest and so my dear Love brought her back to her own room and stayed with her until she fell asleep again.

And I had guilt.

Guilt that a few months ago I would be the one to do that- or have enough room and patience for the bed hogging but now with a infant it is hard to have even when I want to.

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This morning I woke up my little wilds were downstairs  ready to have me help them get going for school- and they were happy little people (until I brushed their hair and then I am the worst. ) And it made me thankful.

Thankful for a partner who takes up what I had to give up when having a infant.

Thankful for all those new ways I am able to be there for them as they grow up and life changes and they change…

Sometimes we shouldn’t feel so down about having mom-guilt- sometimes it is just there because we care and we want to be there in everything- but we just can’t and that is okay.

I am not always wanting to be present either somedays I just need a little breather and that is okay too- this life is demanding.

And sometimes it take a physical tole on ones body mind and soul. And that is okay too…

Our hearts aren’t confined to our bodies… our dreams of the future have now been expanded and our hopes and love for someone else have made us something so beautiful and extraordinary.

Even though I don’t feel like it at all… in the body that shows the marks of childbirth- life and love… it is still that.

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